It's Saturday... and all I want to do is crawl back under my covers and pretend I didn't exist.. sometimes being a mom can be so hard. I always think why did I start so young? Why didn't I wait till I was just a little bit older??
Then Aj hops into my bed and even though he doesn't care to speak, he still smiles and its like "GOOD MORNING MOMMY", I want my bottle and a diaper change. Then Krishen and Nathan come in and say their good mornings and start with the chattering. I love my boys so much.. They are my reason for waking up when I rather be dead asleep.
I go through lots of emotions.. I am just so uptight these days, and everything is bothering me. I guess I just need to breath and take it one day at a time. Well I still haven't heard from the Board of Education and I'm thinking maybe I should just call them myself, on Monday. I want the meeting to come already, I want to know what kind of services Aj will be receiving. I just want to start NOW!! Not in 2 or 3 months.
Well I did shopping today, I still cannot get Aj to eat much.. and it just bugs the crap out of me. I wish I could just read his mind, because at times I'm overwhelmed to the point where I want to cry. Literally just cry and \not stop until I have no more tears left.
I know there is more to life than what is going on right now. I'm just so stuck on trying to find a way, a reason..
that's all for now.
With Love
I(3boys4mom)
Saturday, June 12, 2010
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